Hmmm...

Last night Johan sent me an sms. Stupid as I am, I replied and that only led to more sms's.

He kept telling me that I'm a bad mother for having left my children, that I chose a man instead of my children, called me a whore and then told me that I wouldn't see or speak to my children again because him and Dolf have them now. What broke my heart was when he said that he told Xaynee that I'm dead. He's said it before but this is really getting to me now.

I contacted the social worker today and she said that she was going to phone Dolf today and tell him that he can't refuse me any contact with Lili, but when I phoned tonight he didn't answer. I'll just have to phone the social worker again.

I made an appointment to see the specialist tomorrow at 14:00, I'm scared.

I can't do this forever, I want it to end :(