My Story Part Nine

My whole life was falling apart. My brother got married on the day Andy left me and I wasn't invited because my brother never liked Johan.

I finally started giving in to Johan's manipulation. He kept phoning me despite the fact that I had a protection order against him and I agreed that he could take Xaynee for a while, more because I couldn't stand the way my mother was treating her than any other reason.

Johan then took Xaynee to a school for disabled children and when they did the evaluation on her, they classified her as being hemiplegic. I had to come to terms with the fact that I had a disabled child, but my mother kept manipulating the whole situation in such a way that I never had Xaynee with me again.

All my parents seemed to care about was Lili and that made me angry. Xaynee was my child too and she needed me but my parents never supported me.

Throughout this whole time, I was still chatting on mobile sites. It was my way of escaping the pain and hurt of the real world and I ended up in a relationship with a guy younger than me. He was living in another town and I knew that if I wanted to get away from Johan, that would be the only way of doing it. Unfortunately this guy had many issues like self-harming etc. I had my own problems to deal with and in the end I went back to Pretoria, but my parents wanted nothing to do with me because my father warned me that this guy was a coward. I still remember how my dad said that I would even be better off going back to Johan.

I made many mistakes during this time though. I felt that because half of Johan's business belonged to me, I had a right to some money and I was stupid enough to fall for Johan's trap. He offered to pay the rent for my apartment so that I could get Lili back and I agreed. I thought that it would be enough, because the social worker said I had to have an income (which I did because I owned half of the business) and I had to live on my own. The social worker even came to see where I lived and I should've known by then what was going to happen.

I had been trying to contact the social worker for quite some time by then, because Dolf accused me of not turning up for the court case in the maintenance court, but I was never notified and according to the maintenance court I didn't have to appear that day. Dolf was angry though and he wouldn't listen, so he refused to answer the phone whenever I tried to phone Lili and I couldn't speak to her on her birthday.

The social worker said that they couldn't find me and I told her that I had been trying to contact them for a couple of weeks by that time because I couldn't speak to Lili.

It was then that I started to realise that when a social worker are guilty, manipulating or just downright nasty, they simply ignore you or direct the situation into another direction.

I did finally get to contact Lili again, but then we had to appear in the maintenance court again. There something happened. Johan was with me and he heard Dolf talking to his attorney over the phone about the Children's Court case being at the end of that month. I knew nothing about it and I was shocked when I phoned the social worker and asked her about it. She knew nothing, so she contacted the social worker in Kuruman who said that it was true. I don't know why I was never notified, but the social worker told me that to get the court case postponed, I would have to get an attorney which I could hardly afford at that time but I did and I got the case postponed.

The social worker then told me that I had to go for a psychological evaluation and also an interactional analysis with Lili in Kuruman and that I had to pay for everything. I didn't know what to do because it was going to cost me thousands of Rands and I didn't have the money but I tried to stay calm.

I went for the psychological evaluation, but when I requested for it, the psychologist said that she was not foing to be able to finish it in time for my court case. I also tried to get in Kuruman for the interactional analysis but I had no transport and the coaches that used to go that route wasn't in use anymore. Everything was going against me.