It's a nightmare

I'm still sleeping most of the time and the pain is only getting worse. The specialist that I was supposed to see today can't get to the island because it's too misty and the doctor told Andy's mom to take me to A&E if I get worse. I hate hospitals though, so I'd rather wait.

I tried phoning the social worker, but she isn't taking any phone calls today so I asked the woman who answered the phone to give her a message and explained to her what had happened.

Then I phoned Xaynee, she sounded so sad and I just started crying because everything is getting too much for me. Johan took the phone again and I mentioned to him that Dolf won't let me speak to Lili and he replied that if he can give me a tip...I'd better get back in South Africa, quick. He didn't want to say anything more and I told him that I really couldn't, I'm just too sick at the moment. Johan asked me to post him a letter stating that I really am sick 'to help me' and that made me angry so I accused him of working together with Dolf and I put down the phone.

Andy and his mom is so worried about me and I'm really trying not to show when I'm in pain, but sometimes it just gets too bad. I haven't told Andy yet, but I guess I should...I'm having pain in my kidneys too now.

I wish this nightmare would stop.