Me? Racist?!

The other day ended in a huge argument between me and Andy. I felt hurt, alone and I missed home.
His brother's girlfriend started on me about how racist we are. Now, needless to say, that is a very sensitive issue for most white South Africans...except the liberal ones ofcourse.
I tried to ignore the issue but started getting angry because people tend to be so prejudiced when they don't live in that once beautiful country. They seem to think that it's right that everything is being given to the black people, why not hey? It was their country first...I don't agree. I was born a South African and I will die one even though I left, due to various reasons ofcourse. When Andy's brother said it's ok that our white farmers are being murdered by black people, simply because they are white and the black people want full control over everything, I flipped.
I wanted to go back home right then and there. Andy said his brother never said it and we began to argue. He later admitted that I may have been right though and we are still not talking to his brother or the girlfriend.
I started reading blogs and articles about South Africa and the whole racism issue then and one thing became clear to me...
We are not racist, we just hate THOSE blacks.
I am beginning to understand why my brother did what he did. My anger towards the blacks are worse than ever now that I've left. Why?
Because they are destroying everything my country used to stand for. They rape, murder and torture. They manipulate and destroy and they get away with it. People all over the world think of all the poor little black children, deprived of clean water and sanitation...
Bullshit!
I used to do door-to-door sales a long time ago, I went into their homes to sell my product. Let me tell you what I saw.
There I had an advanced kitchen appliance which they liked. Why did they like it? Because the WHITE people use it. So there I was, in a huge house in a good neighbourhood, a new Merc or BMW parked outside and another in the garage, the furniture looks better than I've seen in most white people's houses. What do they ask me? If the kitchen appliance I sold could make PAP! It was then that I started realising that these 'poor previously disadvantaged' blacks CHOSE to live the way they do. They were given their freedom 14 years ago and they started to destroy every little thing that was a part of the white Afrikaner's culture. They started by taking down statues which according to them was linked to Apartheid. Then they started changing the names of streets, rivers, airports and towns. This cost money, millions in fact. Millions they could have spent on feeding the starving children who are shown to the outside world. They didn't have anything to do with the building up of those towns, yet they took our heritage away by changing names.
I can go on and on and I will. It's time for people to open their eyes and see that South Africa is being turned into the next Zimbabwe.
My children and my family are still there, for their sake I will keep fighting.