Waiting. . .

I haven't heard anything from the social worker yet, but at the moment I an trying to just be patient and not worry about it too much. I have been sleeping alot lately, so I don't have much time to think and maybe it's just as good.

I went to the doctor this morning and they are doing blood tests and tomorrow I'll be going for an ultrasound of my liver. I feel a little guilty because it's expensive and even Andy's mom has been paying. I've never been cared for in such a way, not even by my parents, so it's kind of hard to get used to it without feeling guilty.

I've been missing Xaynee alot these past couple of days, I just hope that she's ok. I'm living with all this guilt inside of me for the way I was never really there for her because I was so heartbroken over Lili. I want so badly to make it up to her and give her the kind of life she will have over here. She will be treated the way she is supposed to be treated and that is all I want for my little angel. She deserves it.