My Story Part Two

My Divorce

I was starting to get frustrated and lonely. Dolf was working for a courier business, he was only home every second day.

The fights and arguments didn't get any better and his parents made it worse. They too started threatening to take my baby away and told me I had a mental problem.

One day I snapped while Dolf was at work. I wanted to contact my parents but Dolf's mom hid the telephone. They started hiding it whenever I was alone at home. I was getting depressed and secluded myself by staying in our room with Lili.

Then one night I was feeding Lili her food and tried to put her to sleep. My food was in the kitchen but I wanted to get Lili in bed first. I heard Dolf's mom say that I was spiting myself by not eating. I got angry because that wasn't the case, but lost my appetite anyway.

The next day I saw my plate with my food standing in the kitchen, uncovered. That night they gave me the same food to eat. I demanded to phone my parents, Dolf wasn't there and his mom reverted to name-calling and refused to give me the telephone. I left the house and went to a collegue of Dolf's wife. We asked the police to take me to get some things for Lili. His father refused to even give me diapers or milk. I had no money and the police told me there was nothing they could do.

After that Dolf and I moved into our own place and things got even worse.

It started after Lili wouldn't stop crying one night...Dolf turned her onto her belly and gave her a hiding. I tried stopping him and he strangled me.

I knew that I would have to get away, I was afraid that he would hurt Lili again but I felt too ashamed to ask my parents for their help.

There was alot of physical violence and he used to leave bruises in places where no one could see. I tried locking him out of the house, so he just broke the window to gain access.

New year's eve in 2000 we went over to friends of his. I didn't like it as I wasn't drinking because I was still breastfeeding. I asked Dolf to take me home and he went back. When he finally came home, I knew he had smoked marijuana. He attacked me again because I tried to protect Lili from him that night.......