Am I Alone?

For as long as I can remember, I have always had this problem of thoughts running through my head that I can't explain. I understand exactly what I am thinking but I can't seem to put it into the right words so that others can understand me. I really get frustrated with it sometimes because when I do try to explain something to someone they assume things too quickly without me saying things. I am always thinking. It never stops and maybe that is also why I can't get to sleep anymore. The more I have to think about, the less I sleep. I wish I knew how to make sense to people. I read blogs of some people and I actually admire them for the way everything they write just make sense and it is properly laid out. I don't only have this problem with english, although it is definately worse. I just don't know how to use all the detail that I have in my head in the right way. I will never be a great blogger, although that doesn't really matter to me. Andy said earlier that I shouldn't have posted the entry where I was angry. It made me think again and I wanted to delete it. Then I realized that once again, I cared what people think of me. Why should I be ashamed of the way Johan is treating ME though? Why should I hide things? He kept me imprisoned in his miserable life long enough and I was too afraid to talk to anyone. I don't care what people think anymore. The real life can be cruel and if people don't want to accept that then I don't care.